Parenting, Step-Parenting and Blending Families
Due to different parenting approaches, it may take time for one family to get used to living with the other family, even if they all got along before the families began living under the same roof.
Individuals who do not have children of their own, and are thus becoming parents for the first time when they enter the step-parent role, might face additional stress as they become accustomed to the new role along with a new marriage.
Children might also be reluctant to trust a step-parent, especially those who may feel abandoned by a biological parent following a divorce.
Further, when the child comes to care for the step-parent, he or she may struggle with the new emotions, as the child may feel that love for the step-parent somehow betrays his or her biological parent.
Sibling rivalry can also take on a new dimension, as children may feel compelled to compete for attention and dominance in the new household.
A child may also worry that his or her biological parents may come to prefer the child’s step-siblings.
Visitations with the other parent can also present difficulties.
What was once the “normal” routine—one family spending unscheduled and unstructured time together every day, planning events in a flexible or spontaneous manner – gives way to what can be a confusing, insecure pattern, where scheduling conflicts create tension, and new family members may find it difficult to find the time to get used to one another.
Grief can also be a factor in the transition.
When a remarriage takes place following the death of one parent, a child may still be grieving the loss of the other parent and could be further triggered by the remarriage.
Children in these situations will often need more space and time to finish the grieving process before they can come to accept the new parent.
Parent coaching and or family therapy is often an effective way for a blended family to work through the issues that each member brings to the new family.
Family members can expect to attend most sessions as a group, though the therapist may also schedule separate, supplemental sessions with each child and with one or both parents.